A week in SUN

13th-17th March were days that were a little different from my usual working days. I had been nominated by my Company to attend a workshop in SUN Identity Management during these days. My primary reason for attending this session was that I wanted a break from work. It has become quite tedious and monotonous, I don't know why I am still sticking to it. But "Work" might be the topic of a future blog. So let me go back to SUN training I attended.
We were a group of 10 people,7 from Bangalore,2 from Bombay and 1 from Delhi. The training began on 13th and finished on 17th. I will not delve into the technical side of things but will write about something that I have experienced earlier and which resurfaced again during this training.
I have never been a person who sits quietly in class, listens to lectures diligently, and belongs to the studious group. I have had my share of antics right from school to college. What has saved me from falling into serious trouble on numerous occasions,have been my grades. And this is where the experience I talked about comes into picture. I was not exactly a role model in school and college. People did not expect great things from me. For everyone I was the kind of guy who is neither here nor there. Neither was I a totally lost case nor someone with whom people attached great capabilities. But my ISC results surprised my teachers and fellow students alike,and my consistent good performance in college(inspite of the hours wasted in the last bench) shocked the lecturers.
The same thing happened in the SUN training also. I had played a fool throughout the course. And I bet some of them who attended the course would have thought I was a total jerk. On the final day everyone was asked to give a presentation for around 5 minutes. When my turn came I could see that most of them had a smirk on their faces. They didn't think I would be able to utter a word that sense. It would be some gibberish was what they had in mind.But I was the one with a smile by the time I was done. I surprised not only my colleagues but also the trainer.
So says the trainer ,"You did well!".
And say I,"Were you surprised?".
To most people I am a little too carefree and informal, someone who is cavalier about things and doesn't know what can be achieved with a serious ,demure attitude to life. I don't mind people having such a view about me. I don't want people to have any great expectations from me,I could do very well without this unwanted pressure. I don't want to keep striving only because everyone expects me to achieve something great. I just want to follow my heart and do what I want. As I grow I am finding it more difficult to do so. I am getting trapped in the usual rigmaroles such as job security and am moving at tremendous speed towards a mediocre life.I desperately want to get out of this,but somehow all the roads are leading to a dead end.
This one week in SUN showed me what I was(a carefree,jovial guy) to what I am becoming(serious and afraid to take risks).